Well, Who Are You?

Another exercise in self improvement I have been putting some serious thought into.  So, I will pose the question to you, "If you were to meet yourself and spend extensive time with yourself, would you like you?"  I thought about this for a while last night.  I came to the conclusion that I would not like hanging out with myself as much as I should.  Obviously, we would relate on similar interests, but as far as personality and chemistry go, not so much.  I used to have a much clearer idea as to who I was and where my life was headed.  I was more social and optimistic.  This resulted in more friends, more fun, and peace of mind.  So, now I am going to change those things about myself that I am not happy about.  First off, Im going to be more positive about the things I can't change.  I am going to accept what comes and find the good in it.  I'm going to let things go more easily as well.  I tend to have a bad temper sometimes.  Instead of getting angry with others, I'm going to put myself in their shoes and attempt to understand their motives or intentions.  Now, comes the tough one.  I started smoking when I was 15.  I am now 27 and have kept the terrible habit.  Im going to attempt to quit or atleast slow down.  I want to be healthier.  Finally, I want to slow down on the drinking.  Im not over the top or belligerent.  I don't ever get really drunk or black out.  But, I know I would feel better if I toned it down a little.  In highschool I leaned towards more natural means to wind down.  I might switch back to that. It made me think as opposed to drinking which just numbs my mind or makes me tired. 
Anyway, I hope you think about the question too.  Its interesting to analyze yourself as much as you analyze others.

There are no more white horses or pretty ladies at my door.

I was thinking about my relationships and connections with the important people in my life.  Now that I am getting older, I began to think about the people in my past that I have lost touch with.  I still think back on the best times of my life and the people that made those times so memorable.  As George Jung put it, "So in the end, was it worth it? Jesus Christ. How irreparably changed my life has become. It's always the last day of summer and I've been left out in the cold with no door to get back in. I'll grant you I've had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by while they're making grand plans for it. Throughout my lifetime, I've left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there's almost not enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent. There are no more white horses or pretty ladies at my door."
I think about that quote a lot.  So, I wanted to make a suggestion to anyone who might read this.  Life is too short to hold grudges or be stubborn.  You will regret it.  Take chances, make mistakes, don't be afraid to leave pieces of your heart here and there.  Most importantly, if there is someone from your past that made your world great, pick up the phone. Especially, those people that you had a falling out with. Bonus points if it's someone you were in a relationship with or in love with.  You don't have to be best friends again, but keep in touch with them.  Just send them a text message that says something like "Hey, this is ________________. I just wanted you to know that I am sorry we ever lost touch. I miss you and would love to hear from you."
I promise that you will be happy you did it.  And so will they.
If you are brave enough to take on the challenge, I would love to hear what role they played in your life and the response you receive. 

Tangerine

I almost forgot.  Today is Tange's 2nd birthday.  Its amazing how much levity my cats bring to my life.  Happy Birthday, Tangerine.

Chalkboard Art #2

Just another silly face.  Im slowly starting to get a hang of the shading, but its a slow process.  Next time I will attempt something more difficult.

Chalkboard Art

Well, it's no Van Gogh, but I finally got the chalkboard up and its been good therapy.  I just feel better when I get to draw.  I promise they will get better, it was just my first attempt at chalk art.  More to come, sorry its not better, just a self portrait of how I felt today.  Wasn't a great day by the way.

Would your rather............

Would you rather be able to read anyone's mind that you encountered
or
Be able to see 3 minutes into the future?

Think about the amazing potential of each option. I will explain my choice after you have a little time to think about yours.  I don't want to influence anyone's opinion.

The most boring post you have read in days

Well, things have become eerily stagnant in my life.  Gym, work, home.  Hang out with my 3 cats.  Watch tv and go to bed.  This has been the least eventful / most boring time I can remember.  I've been invited to things, but I can't seem to muster the energy to get out.  I did paint my bathroom and bedroom, however.  I found a cool shade of blue that I used on both.  Sorry, but that is honestly the most exciting thing I have done lately.  Oh, and Im putting a blackboard on my wall.  I really enjoy drawing when Im bored.  So, with the addition of the blackboard and the increasingly boring lifestyle, I should have plenty of time to doodle.  I expect absolutely no response.

The Stigma of Being Single

Now that I am single, everyone has been telling me that things are going to look up, that I will find the right girl and get married.  But, now that I am single, I quite enjoy the solitude.  I have less responsibility, more free time, more money and I get to watch UFC unleashed all afternoon.  So, why is it so important for everyone else that I jump back into a relationship, or even start looking?  Misery loves company, well so do people in relationships.  I think everyone wants what they don't have so if they see me being content with a single life, they somewhat envy the freedom.  Moreover, they want more soldiers in their army. Well, I think that there is something to be said for someone that does not find their happiness through others, but through themselves.  Maybe its evolution or natural selection.  Maybe my kind is being slowly weeded out until everyone is coupled up.  I used to be a hopeless romantic.  I used to believe you had a soulmate, or atleast would find that one that would erase in other potentials.  I now believe that everyone is lost and scared.  People are frantic to find something to hold on to, someone that will remember them when they are gone, someone to carry on their legacy.  This causes people to continue on with terrible relationships and to lose respect for themselves.  I think that the biggest cynics are carved out of hopeless romantics. Sometimes though, people can just "be" without having to be with someone. 

Cleaning help

So I have a toilet that has had a stain in the bowl since I moved into the place.  I've tried every sort of cleaning product I can get my hands on and nothing seems to work.  Let me know if you have any suggestions.

In return, here is a helpful tip for you all.  When someone leaves an ink pen in your dryer and ink has stained the entire inside of it, use nail polish remover to get it out.  Maybe I should try that on the toilet bowl

Inventions

I've been working on two different inventions.  Im going to attempt at a patent and then an infomercial.  I will start documenting the process as soon as it gets underway.  Ill let you know about the price, time, and labor of the whole thing.  Hopefully, you will be ordering something I created at some point.  More to come.

LETS GO CHARGERS

If we still had Sproles, this game would already be over

My Epiphany

I had a blinding realization about my purpose in life today.  This is going to require a little background information about myself in order to give you confidence in my ultimate mission.  I hope that none of this is perceived as boastful in any way, but this is how my life has gone thus far.  I went to a Magnet high school. For those of you that don't know about this, it is a public school that requires a certain g.p.a. and test scores.  I graduated Cum Laude and received a scholarship to a state school (which is really not a big deal).  I transferred to another state school from which I received Cum Laude with a B.S. in Psychology. In my last semester, I reconnected with a girl whom I had attended high school with.  We fell in love, as the story goes.  I went back to do some post-grad classes and applied for physical therapy school.  I was accepted, but declined.  I lacked passion for the field.  I continued to take science classes and decided to apply for Vet school.  This is a little tougher to get into than most people would imagine.  The saying is, "those who don't get into vet school go to Med school."  Anyway, I got in on my first attempt, which I should not have considering my scores were much lower than the average. However,  it would have required moving.  My girlfriend of 4 and a half years did not want to move and my grandma was sick.  So, I decided to drop out.  Plus, my brother was going through some really tough times and I felt that I needed to be home with my family and appease my girlfriend at the same time.  As of the last 3 weeks, my girlfriend has left me, my grandma has improved, and my brother has a new girlfriend and does not hang out with me anymore.  I currently work part time as a cashier at a restaurant making $7.50 an hour.  I am also a vet radiologist assistant.  The only reason I am able to live in my duplex is because my grandma owns it and lets me live for free.  I will end up doing manual labor for a living.  I have a negative outlook on life and I drink too much. 
ANYWAY, about that epiphany.  My realization is that I should be giving advice for a living.  The trick is, do exactly the opposite of what I tell you.  It is a guaranteed recipe for success.  Seriously,  ask me a question.  Do the opposite of what I tell you.  If you are not pleased with the result, you can slander my blog all across the internet. I'm certainly not looking for a pep talk or sympathy.  Most of my problems have been a result of my pessimism and lack of self-confidence, but I know how not to live.

Beer suggestion for you

Since you guys helped me out with a few ideas, I figured I would send a suggestion your way.  I had this recently and it was one of the best beers I have tasted.  You'll have to go to a liquor store or specialty store to get it, but I don't think you will be disappointed. Its called Witches Brew.  Be careful, it will hit you pretty hard.

The niche i've fallen into

I feel like its just cheap blogging to keep posting music, but there is some really good stuff out there that people just don't get to hear, so I wanted to post a few that I think you should give a listen to. Maybe you'll like one or all of them.  Or, you might not listen to any, but i just wanted to put it out there. And please recommend some of your favorites to me. Im always looking for new interesting music.

just another day.

I have to work tonight, but I would very much like to drink some good beer afterwards.  Im tired of the same old crap.  Anybody got any good suggestions? I like all kinds.

My day in a nutshell

Drank a little too much last night because I had today off.  Got up at 10:30.  Went to the gym from 12:30-3:00.  I've been stressed out, thats why it took me longer.  Came home and started cleaning my house at about 4:00.  Finished cleaning my house at 11:30.  Funny thing was, it wasn't really dirty to begin with.  I'd just find something that needed to be taken care of which lead to another which lead to another.  Plus, my goal is to stay busy all of the time now.  And I found that listening to Rage Against the Machine helps when scrubbing toilets.  Especially "Maggie's Farm."  Hope your day was a hell of a lot better than mine

Helpful advice

1) If you've got bad news, deliver in the form of a knock knock joke.  Example:  Knock Knock..........Who's there?............You're sister was killed in a car accident.................You're sist.......(interept them and say "the end")

2) If you want to flirt with a girl (not one you just met), make fun of their taste in music.  Everyone loves music and everyone thinks that their opinion is superior to everyone else's.  Plus, girls like it when you are a jerk playfully and its not like you are insulting their religion.  They will try to change your mind by playing you something and you can try to change theirs with some of your own music.  Lookee there, you just had your first date.

3) Don't go to a movie on your first date unless your intentions are less than respectable.  Take them to the park.  take a frisbee, a blanket, and a cooler with dip n' dots.  If you can't have a good time with someone at a park with the aforementioned items, you probably aren't meant to be.

4)Want to better your odds at beer pong? Put Bud Select 55 into your cups.  Their alcohol content is 2.4% whereas as a bud light / miller light etc has 4.2%.  That'll help you shoot a little straighter after about 4 games.

5) If you have a house and you invite a girl over that you like (have emotional feelings for, not just a one night stand), she might ask for a tour of your place.  Show her around, but don't show her your bedroom.  Tell her that it is a mess and you are embarrassed.  She will think you are hiding something or are a gentleman.  Either way, she will want to visit again to figure it out.

6) Brush your teeth in the shower.  It saves time.

7) Don't give someone a book as a present unless they ask for it.  Thats a commitment that they probably didn't want to enter in to.

8) Do some form of exercise everyday.  I know, easier said than done.  Look online for stuff you can do around your living room or even on the couch.  Exercise releases endorphins. that makes you happy. So do other things you do alone, but im not going to talk about that.

9)  When it comes to relationships, "If its broke, don't fix it." I know many of us have a savior complex, but you don't go buy a yugo thinking you can turn it into a maserati.

10) Drink a lot of water everyday. I know you've heard this one before but it really does help.  Plus, if you replace one soda a day with a cup of tap water, you'll save some money.

11) Remember people's names when they introduce themselves.  I can't for the life of me.  But, at the end of the conversation, say "it was really nice to meet you _______."  they remember that.

12) Eat fish or take Omega 3's

13) Just because everyone around you is out to get laid and don't care about people,  remember what it means to be romantic. In the least creepy way possible, think about the respect you would want someone to treat your mother / daughter with.  Open doors, pull out chairs, pick up the tab.  Don't check out other girls that are walking by at dinner.  Most importantly, remember the little things they say. if you can't remember, write it down Remember their favorite musician, artist, actor, place they've always wanted to go, favorite color, favorite animal, favorite store, favorite flower, favorite restaurant etc.  This will come in handy in the future. the next time you run across a giant blue panda that you can record a bill withers song on (assuming thats her favorite color, animal, musician) you will thank me.  They will think you are as corny as they come, but the thought will win you major bonus points

Breaking Bad

I have been a dedicated follower of the AMC show Breaking Bad since day one.  In my opinion, it is the best show on tv now.  On top of that, it has exposed me to some pretty great music.  Recently, there was a scene where jesse came home to a room full of meth heads having a party.  He quietly sat down on the couch and just observed.  I think everyone knows that feeling of being alone in a crowd.  But, in the background was this song and I can't stop listening to it.  thought i would share. Hope you enjoy it as much as I have

Movie suggestion

Here is a little gem that I think anyone with a good sense of humor will enjoy. Plus, if you grew up in a place like I did, it is sadly relatable.  I know its on Netflix so check it out if you get a chance.  here's a sample. 

People surprise you

I promise this will be the last time I talk about my recent breakup, but I did learn a pretty important lesson from the experience.  I've had peripheral friends, good friends, great friends, and then those few that mean the world to me.  Funny thing is, when something really troubling comes your way, its interesting to see which ones really come to the rescue.  And its not always the ones that top the list. I don't feel any differently about the close ones that haven't really been there for me, but it makes reconsider what real friendship is.  Moral of the story, if someone needs a shoulder to cry on, be that for them.  Even if its someone you aren't particularly close to. It might not mean much to you, but it will mean the world to them

Im gonna make you blog me

Since no one is going to read this anyway, thought i might just ramble.  You know what the worst part about getting older is?  Well, I'll tell you.  When you are young i.e. middle school / high school, you perceive life as an interstate.  You can take different directions, venture onto off roads, head in the wrong direction,  but deep down you feel like you can get back to where you were and can find directions to where you need to go.  This can be very true as long as you don't get too lost.  Simile aside, you know that if you damage a relationship, you'll be seeing that person everyday in class or at social events and there is a good chance to mend it at any point.  Or, if your grades suffer, you know that if you put the time in, you can get them back to where they need to be.  Now, to the worst part about getting older.  It's more like being on a desolate highway where the people you meet are like hitchhikers.  The exits and forks in the road become fewer and fewer.  The exits don't have much to offer and you know right away that you don't want to stop.  The hitchhikers you pick up along the way may be interesting, but they are aiming for a destination that you won't be able to get them to.  And those people you left behind at home are now making memories that don't involve you anymore. The moral of the story is that when someone says you can be anything you want to be, they are lying.  Those bff's that you could never lose, will be lost (not always, but it will never be the same).  So be prepared for losing your way and just find comfort in whats ahead, even though it might not be what you wanted or expected.  Sometimes, you just can't go back.

let the music continue

Thought you might enjoy this song.  It means a lot to me and I hope it lets you hear something new. I don't want this blog to only be videos, but this one hit a chord

Don't be afraid to ask for help

Do you ever wonder why everyone around you seems happy, motivated, social?  And you can't relate to this.  That was the same for me.  For a long time I have had ADD, but was too stubborn to admit it.  I always made good grades and recently was accepted into Vet school.  As a result of succeeding, no one ever questioned my mental state.  I also have panic attacks from time to time.  Nothing severe, just situations where I feel like there is nothing I can do or any way to resolve it.  These have been more frequent and intense since a recent breakup.  So, after some urging from friends, I bit the bullet and scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist.  I'll be honest, I was nervous and uncomfortable about the whole situation.  Anyway,  I went and enjoyed it.  It is nice to have an unbiased person who knows nothing about your situations to spill your guts to.  At the end, she told me that it was pretty clear what I had and was prescribed medication for it.  Since the talks and taking my medication, I feel like a new person.  I feel like what I used to observe other people feeling like. I still have those rough times, but I feel equipped to handle them.  Anyway, if you are going through things things in your life that you feel like you just cannot handle,  don't be afraid to reach out.  It doesn't have to be a doctor, maybe just someone that you can be honest with. Be honest with yourself and be open to change.

Funny video of the day. Sure to entertain.

Workout routine for today

Since I really only have time for one hobby these days, I might as well tell a little bit about me.  I have always been extremely skinny.  That trend continues. However, about 2 and a half years ago, my brother got me into working out.  So, I don't look like Ryan Reynolds or anything, but atleast I'm not just the skinny guy anymore.  Im 6'1 and between 145 and 150 pounds.   I have Attention Deficit Disorder and this is the one thing that keeps my attention for more than 5 minutes at a time.  Currently, I have been doing one muscle group a day which has proven to be more effective for me.  I am not promoting or endorsing my routine. In fact, I am posting this to get some feedback and suggestions.  In case you are wondering about my attempt to put on weight, I have done it all...including weight gain protein, creatine, big mac and pizza diets.  Basically, if it is legal and supposed to make you fat, I have tried it.  None of it has been worth a damn for me.  Anyway, today was back.  It took an hour and a half.  So here goes
Back routine:

• lat pull downs  wide grip                 4 sets at 235 pounds
• lat pull downs medium grip            4 sets at 220 pounds
• lat pull downs inside grip               4 sets at 175 pounds
• low rows                                          3 sets at 175 pounds    +     1 set at 145
• low row  smith machine                 4 sets at 160  (with plates)
• lat pull downs wide grip again       4 sets at 190  pounds
• revers flys                                     2 sets at 175    2 sets at 160 and 1 set at 145
• low row single grips                      3 sets at 160
• low row smith machine again       4 sets at 110 pounds
• wide grip pull ups                          3 sets of 10

Im really trying to focus on strengthening my lower back.  I am limited with the equipment at my new gym.  Like I said, if you have any suggestions for a different routine, different exercises,  or just information, please let me know.  By the way, I have long hair and look like a hippie.  you would never guess I work out by looking at me.  So, im not some jackass frat guy or anything

first blog

Since this is my first attempt at blogging, I know it is terrible and scatterbrained.  But, I wanted to thank everyone for checking it out.  Until I figure out how all of this works, I guess I will just keep posting things that interest or inspire me.  However, I did come across this video on youtube, so I had to share it. Let me know what you think

This one is for the only girl I will ever love

MW3 vs. Battlefield

I own every call of duty game apart from World at War.  I was a big fan of 4 and MW2.  But now the decision to change directions is at hand.  I have heard good things about both games.  I like the teamwork aspect of Battlefield and the graphics and online play of MW3.  It would take some convincing to get me to switch.  Can I get some persuasion from anyone or should i just stay with what Im used to?

more music. sticking with the theme "Depression"

new music for you

Thought you might want to hear something you haven't heard a million times

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Days of Thunder

I noticed that when I'm depressed, the radio seems to play sad songs more frequently.  Now, I know that it is merely a mindgame, but songs I have never payed attention to quickly become one of the saddest songs I have ever heard.  I found myself misty-eyed listening to REO speedwagon the other morning.  Okay, that is just pathetic.  Can you beat that?